Tag Archives: work

Oh, I’m sorry. Were you trying to use this?

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I'm sorry, were you trying to use this?

I’m sorry, were you trying to use this?

As I sit trying to finish up some college class stuff, of course Duncan just decides to lay pretty much on the keyboard of my laptop.  He’s done it enough that we have a thing now where I move the laptop to my knees and he gets to lay close to me.  It’s not that bad and at least he doesn’t try to march around on the keyboard anymore.

 

I know you love a good ugly sweater contest.

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I know, I know.  Squirrels (to my knowledge) don't eat carrots.

I know, I know. Squirrels (to my knowledge) don't eat carrots.

That dog is a kleptomaniac.

That dog is a kleptomaniac.

At work we had an ugly sweater contest.  I decided to make my own.  Here is my recipe for a delightful ugly sweater, which was actually a sweatshirt.

  1. Get a plain ol’ sweatshirt (I got mine in the men’s section at Target for $7.50!).
  2. Use puffy paint to create goofy looking snowmen who are sad about losing their noses (yes, the squirrel took it – I didn’t think it was that unclear…) and their hats (that dumb dog!).  Have fun “jazzing” them up with mittens and the like.  Use puffy paint to avoid wasting the other good fabric paint you have.  Downside: puffy paint takes FOREVER to dry, especially if you make it nice and puffy.  Solution: smear around the puffy paint to make it less puffy and reduce drying time.
  3. Find sparkly acrylic gems and adhere them like abundant snowflakes using glitter puffy paint.  Be advised: puffy paint takes FOREVER to dry, so don’t try to do all parts at once, especially if you are working on two tv trays and don’t have an actual table to spread out on.  Also, don’t try to do the front and the back at the same time or you will have a glittery table.
  4. Use a super hot glue gun to adhere bits of ribbon to represent snow and delicate lace trim around the wrists, waist, and neck.  Tres chic.  Caution: super hot glue guns produce super hot glue.  This will burn you.  You might end up with 3 burn blisters on the tips of your finger.  Run them under cool water – the pain will go away in a day or so; maybe sooner if you are lucky.
  5. Continue using a super hot glue gun to adhere old leaves leftover from your wedding decorations.  Hide the ugly parts with jingle bells, also adhered using a super hot glue gun.  Paint the leaves with pearlescent white paint to simulate snow.  Add any fun decorations to the leaves/trees that you want.  Fun addition: try adding a crazy twig and bird combo to the shoulder.  You will have an instant device to attract new friends asking if the bird is real, as well as a great distancing tool to keep people away for fear of being stuck by a stick on your shoulder.
  6. Use that super hot glue gun again to put jingle bells down the seam of the arm. Why?  It seemed like a good spot that often goes neglected in most clothing and actually was found to bring immense joy to the wearer for accompanying music and making more emphatic points in discussion.
  7. Attach garland to the waist of the sweatshirt for a really nice finish.  Be aware that the metal in the middle of the garland doesn’t have a lot of give, so garland the front and back with separate garland bits.
  8. Enjoy your new ugly sweatshirt and share it with the world!!!

P.S. I won the “Pimp My Sweater” contest with this baby.  Huzzah!