Monthly Archives: December 2011

“He’s got that annoying bird look.” – my brother.

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SQWAAAAAK!

SQWAAAAAK!

You remember that crazy owl I cartooned from a crazy owl photo?  Here’s the painting version.  My friend made an innocuous comment on Facebook about how he would hang the cartoon up in his house….so I decided to just do it.  He’d better hang it up next to the crystal bear holding a heart we got them as a house warming gift.

JoJo versus the Helicopter

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To the death

To the death

My little brother and sister got remote controlled helicopters and they were a big hit for everyone to play with.  However, JoJo the dog also found them….intriguing.  I can’t really say how JoJo felt because he fervently began barking at it, following it, retreating from it, AND madly wagging his tail at it.  I can’t quite determine what his intentions were but it was funny all the same to watch him in his awkward small dog confusion.

It’s a party!

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Huzzah!

Huzzah!

This is a post live from a family holiday party!  I am a leaning cat because I am a bit tipsy, haha.  There are  a lot of family members here and I don’t want to eavesdrop on their conversations so that’s why I made them say “blah blah”…not that they just blah blah it up.  🙂

I saw the fattest squirrel today

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image

Ok, this totally sucks but I did it in 10 seconds on my phone because I’m at my aunt’s house and I fourier to do one earlier.  But I really saw the fattest squirrel ever today.  12
pounds easy.

image

There it is.  Sorry my phone couldn’t zoom fast enough.  Dang technology.

I will admit I am a grade-A pouter sometimes.

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harumph

harumph

So it’s late and I hadn’t done a cattoon yet and I made a silly one about sleeping in and then I went to put it in the blog post and it had somehow not been saved and this is the second or so time this has happened so I made a cartoon about pouting and this is a really long sentence.

I know you love a good ugly sweater contest.

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I know, I know.  Squirrels (to my knowledge) don't eat carrots.

I know, I know. Squirrels (to my knowledge) don't eat carrots.

That dog is a kleptomaniac.

That dog is a kleptomaniac.

At work we had an ugly sweater contest.  I decided to make my own.  Here is my recipe for a delightful ugly sweater, which was actually a sweatshirt.

  1. Get a plain ol’ sweatshirt (I got mine in the men’s section at Target for $7.50!).
  2. Use puffy paint to create goofy looking snowmen who are sad about losing their noses (yes, the squirrel took it – I didn’t think it was that unclear…) and their hats (that dumb dog!).  Have fun “jazzing” them up with mittens and the like.  Use puffy paint to avoid wasting the other good fabric paint you have.  Downside: puffy paint takes FOREVER to dry, especially if you make it nice and puffy.  Solution: smear around the puffy paint to make it less puffy and reduce drying time.
  3. Find sparkly acrylic gems and adhere them like abundant snowflakes using glitter puffy paint.  Be advised: puffy paint takes FOREVER to dry, so don’t try to do all parts at once, especially if you are working on two tv trays and don’t have an actual table to spread out on.  Also, don’t try to do the front and the back at the same time or you will have a glittery table.
  4. Use a super hot glue gun to adhere bits of ribbon to represent snow and delicate lace trim around the wrists, waist, and neck.  Tres chic.  Caution: super hot glue guns produce super hot glue.  This will burn you.  You might end up with 3 burn blisters on the tips of your finger.  Run them under cool water – the pain will go away in a day or so; maybe sooner if you are lucky.
  5. Continue using a super hot glue gun to adhere old leaves leftover from your wedding decorations.  Hide the ugly parts with jingle bells, also adhered using a super hot glue gun.  Paint the leaves with pearlescent white paint to simulate snow.  Add any fun decorations to the leaves/trees that you want.  Fun addition: try adding a crazy twig and bird combo to the shoulder.  You will have an instant device to attract new friends asking if the bird is real, as well as a great distancing tool to keep people away for fear of being stuck by a stick on your shoulder.
  6. Use that super hot glue gun again to put jingle bells down the seam of the arm. Why?  It seemed like a good spot that often goes neglected in most clothing and actually was found to bring immense joy to the wearer for accompanying music and making more emphatic points in discussion.
  7. Attach garland to the waist of the sweatshirt for a really nice finish.  Be aware that the metal in the middle of the garland doesn’t have a lot of give, so garland the front and back with separate garland bits.
  8. Enjoy your new ugly sweatshirt and share it with the world!!!

P.S. I won the “Pimp My Sweater” contest with this baby.  Huzzah!

My dreams are coming true.

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Finally!

Finally!

So I am in the middle of making an incredibly awesome holiday sweater, which should be ready for a post tomorrow I think, so here is a dumb drawing of a mini me getting super excited for this gum I tried today which totally tasted like apple pie.  My fantasy of living in Willy Wonka’s world is steadily getting closer and closer!

This is a typical family photo.

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Typical

Typical

So my Aunt Kathy was in town not too long ago and we took a family photo.  Unbeknownst to me, apparently it was a bunny-ear-required photo and I didn’t get the memo.  I can’t share the actual photo since I don’t have it (Aunt Kathy, if you’re reading this, send that thing my way!) so here is a cartoon about it.

Secondly, here is an actual photo of how we created the set-up for the camera to shoot.  It was set on an automatic timer but we had to figure out how to get it angled properly and to the right height.  No lie, we did not do this to be funny.  It took four adults to achieve this level of engineering.

Yes, that's a butter knifed down there.

Yes, that's a butter knife down there.

Ho. Ho. Ho.

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I'm heeeeere.

I'm heeeeere.

So I was showing students this neat online whiteboard website and they asked me to draw Santa.  So I did.  Comments included, “He’s creepy,” “It’s good but it’s not good” (maybe ’cause it’s creepy?), and “I like it.”  I guess that isn’t so bad.  Thanks, 7th graders; your 12- and 13-year old insights are invaluable and generally hilarious.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

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Maybe if they don't see how desperate I am...

Maybe if they don't see how desperate I am...

Yes, I’ll admit it.  Sometimes Adam and I make up songs about mundane everyday things.  Today Adam was singing about the cats.  Specifically Duncan.  Pretty much because Duncan was looking ridiculous and desperate but as if he was trying to hide it.  We decided that it was his way of getting food since he knows that being annoying and meowing just won’t work anymore.

me-sigh-ow.

Will their love of snacks bring them together?

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love of snacks = love of each other?

love of snacks = love of each other?

Adam’s parents’ cat does not really…um…fit in with our cats.  They are a bit brutish with him.  However, we had a breakthrough with the cats.  They were all amicably near each other within a foot when Adam and I gave them all snacks.  Could this be the beginning of a change around here?

My husband is cool.

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Flowers 'n' Chocolates

Flowers 'n' Chocolates

So today turned out pretty awesome.  Sorry for no cattoon but this was exciting.  I got to go to my bff Sarah’s community band concert (haha, I know.  I totally am joining soon so there’ll be funny cattoons on that topic coming up in the nearish future) and THEN I come home to this!  What a treat!  Adam is a cool dude.

Best part?  The friggin’ awesome rainbow wafers courtesy of Malley’s – a Cleveland local chocolate company that is super delish.  I am kind of obsessed with these wafers and talk about them a lot so Adam was kind enough to indulge my hunger for candy.

Worst part?  He told me he was going to get a few groceries and he didn’t really go get them.  But he DID at least get me my Frigo Cheese Heads string cheese sticks – the BEST by far of the string cheese cheeses.  I’ve done extensive research and taste testing…I know.  But totally jk about the whole “worst part” thing.  I’m no brat.  (Ok, I suppose I can be at times…)

Angry Appendix

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You will experience my 3.5" wrath.

You will experience my 3.5" wrath.

So this was an interesting weekend.   I got to go see the ballet The Nutcracker with Ken (yay!) because Lee was sick (boo!) and I went in his place.  So then we found out this morning that Lee was sick not because of a stomach-bug but because of a stomach fight.  His appendix was ready to go to blows with Lee.

Yes, it was an epic battle  that the appendix was winning until Lee bravely admitted himself to the ER and got an appendectomy.  Take that, appendix.

When he was out of surgery, the doctor came to us to tell us it went well and that the appendix was not ruptured, just angry.  So here’s in honor of your angry appendix, Lee.  Suck it, appendix.

Warning: this is not direct at you, just directed toward you (if you’re looking at your computer screen, which I would assume you are since you are reading this)

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Raspberry

Raspberry

Anyone know why it’s called a raspberry?  I suppose I could look it up but…..meh.

Thanks, Connie and Betsy!

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This is one enthusiastic wild boar.

This is one enthusiastic wild boar.

So I offered a mini-contest to whomever got the 100th fan of notacrazycatlady.com’s Facebook page.  Thanks to Connie and Betsy who made that happen!

Their prize?  THIS CARTOON!  Wooo!

Anyway, here’s what they had to say about this….

“Here is our 100th member picture choice! Kind of a crazy one, but this is my mom and I at an outdoors weekend a few years back. We made a new friend there. Ever drawn an enthusiastic wild boar before? :)… “Lady Hoggers”- on A&E Wednesday nights at 10:00—yeah, that’s us.”

I kiiiiiinda of can’t tell if they’re being serious and really are reality tv stars or they just do what those ladies do.  Either way I haven’t actually seen the show (which is why I don’t think I know this or not) BUT I have seen the previews and I’ll admit…I’m intrigued.

But thanks again to the fans!  Otherwise I would just be here drawing dumb pictures for just myself, and while that’s fun, it’s way more fun to share 🙂

Smudge really needs a manicure.

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Me-owch

Me-owch

The other day Smudge was climbing on me to get to some food on a tv tray – way to go Duncan teaching your brother dumb tricks and bad habits.  Adam tried to gently dissuade him with a wee shove but Smudge wasn’t ready to budge.  So he just casually pierced my fleshy quad with his razor sharp talon claws in an attempt to stay close to his beloved food bits.  So I had 14-ish pounds of cat hanging from my leg.  And now I literally have 10 little claws lines in my leg.  No joke.

You should all be glad I’m not a real detective.

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You're lying!.....maybe....

You're lying!.....maybe....

So I’m really into this video game, L.A. Noire.  If you don’t know about it, it’s a pretty revolutionary game where they did all this crazy technology stuff to get real actors to act the parts of the characters and therefore have remarkably life-like game people.  Because of this, you have to read the faces and body language of people to determine if they are telling the truth or not.

And I SUCK at it.  So I’m glad (and you should be, too) that I am not a real detective.

I also suck at the driving in the game too pretty much.  Sorry, can’t avoid that one in real life.

“Adam, I’m no wimp” or “A post based on childish response to taunting by a husband”

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I put the painting on his favorite chair.

I put the painting on his favorite chair.

Ok, I give in.  Mostly because Adam called me a wimp in my comments.  Boo hoo – now I’m crying but when I’m done I’m gonna show you and post that dumb painting! That’ll show you….

Here is the painitng of Mr. Smudge.  It’s on his favorite chair to add to the realism.  I know you might think I’m crazy for being all weird about it, but perhaps that’s just the ol’ perfectionist in me rearing her little big head.  And I guess in fairness/to toot my own horn (I’m not THAT critical of myself, yo) this is my 3rd attempt at something “realistic” and my first cat painting beyond a cattoon.

I decided not to post the photo with it, though because the angles are off a bit and that’s my beef with it.  And my prerogative not to share.  And I’m now Bobby Brown.  Minus the drugs, singing, and crazy relationships.  Wait, didn’t Britney do a cover of that song?  Same differences apply here, too, then I suppose.

This is a bit crazy even for me.

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That bird is crazy!  And I'm Brian Fellow!

That bird is crazy! And I'm Brian Fellow! (Just a li'l shoutout to a favorite SNL skit!)

So I found this crazy owl baby picture on Reddit and decided it tickled my fancy.   So I didn’t quite get it right, but I still think it’s pretty funny.  Adam says it’s a little too dark for my normal style but I like it.  I guess a crazy owl baby can spread its crazy even from a distance.

Beware.  Birds are creepy.

Art imitating art imitating life. Is that how that goes?

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So I have been busy these days because I think I want to start going to craft shows….make that a craft show….I’ve never been before.   But I’ve made baby onesises and cool little magnets, and painted stools for friends and family before, so I figured why not try it out with strangers?    I decided I needed something else to have at my craft stand, plus I just wanted to try and paint fun little canvases, so I’ve been painting little pictures and whatnot.

I didn’t know what to post today, but I painted a portrait (is that the right word) of Smudge today.  Adam said I should take a picture of it and post that.  I declined.  It’s one of those things where I didn’t quite like little things but they made a big difference to me.  Which is strange because I post stupid cartoons everyday.  But whatever.

So instead I decided to draw a dumb little cartoon of me showing off my painting of Smudge.  Enjoy!

And maybe the painting will show its face.  Maybe.  Eh, who knows?