Monthly Archives: June 2011

“That’s no Mona Lisa. You aren’t gonna see that in a museum!”

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That's no Mona Lisa.  You aren't gonna see that in a museum!

That's no Mona Lisa. You aren't gonna see that in a museum!

Sometimes I’ll talk with my dad about my cattoons and he’ll share an idea or two.  Like this one.

This was his most recent contribution…mostly it was the title.  You see where I get my humor from.

And it’s true….I do have a cattoo.  Of a cat….or two.  Perhaps I will share it sometime.

Introducing my favorite YouTube channel: My Drunk Kitchen!

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No cat originally there, but I thought I had to add it it, 'cause, you know....I'm a crazy cat lady...

No cat originally there, but I thought I had to add it it, 'cause, you know....I'm a crazy cat lady...

Ok, so let me start first by saying I didn’t mean to make the host of My Drunk Kitchen out to look menacing, so sorry if it kinda looks like that.

Now back to what the heck this is.  If you regularly browse the internet like I do, you stumble across some weird stuff.  Occasionally you get some weird stuff that’s AWESOME.  This is one of those things.  Harto makes super funny YouTube videos (<– check ’em out here!) that involve large amounts of alcohol consumption and the ensuing cooking (?) of stuff.  I crack up every time I watch them.

Plus, she seems fun.  And she has a cat in some of her videos.  And she meowed in the most recent one.

So there you have it.  Check them out – you WON’T be disappointed.  Well, you might, but don’t blame me.

Duncan CANNOT be this hungry

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How can he be that desperate?

How can he be that desperate?

Adam and I were defrosting some chicken on the counter and had the plate covered with foil.  Not more than a few minutes later, Adam was walking his way to the kitchen and nearly stepped on a frozen chicken breast.

Yes, you heard right, Duncan was “so hungry” that he had to jump on the counter, tear open the foil, and carry a frozen chicken breast to another room before deciding it was too much work for little return.

At least he isn’t dumb.

Duncan is very untrustworthy.

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Note: Never trust Duncan

Note: Never trust Duncan

As I am not currently living with the catos now for almost two months (that all changes next week!) I am only going on hear-say but I was told of a tale of Duncan that was not a big surprise.

Adam’s dad opened the window to enjoy the spring breeze, not realizing that there was no screen in the window.   After living with Duncan and knowing he can sniff out a protein drink from across the house and can move with the speed of the Roadrunner once he hears a door or food can being opened, I know not to trust him.  Adam’s dad, however, is just an innocent bystander in Duncan’s world and didn’t realize that this window situation might be a problem.

Duncan quickly found his way to the window and leaped out of it, both a joyful and probably terrifying experience for a fat indoor cat.  He was recovered promptly but poor Adam’s dad had to experience Duncan’s sneakiness first-hand to really know the power of it all.

The creepiest “ice cream” truck I’ve ever seen.

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Suuuuuuuuper creepy.

Suuuuuuuuper creepy.

Adam and I were getting delicious Chipotle one day and heard the melodious jingles of an ice cream truck as we were getting in the car.

Now I’ve never actually have gone to a an ice cream truck….mostly it’s because my parents told me that it was just a music truck so I never actually went to any.  All I thought was I was getting a traveling musical performance whenever a truck would go by.

So as I hear the carousel-type music pumping into the neighborhood, I look up to see this truck.  Again, I wasn’t really expecting to get any ice cream, as mentioned above, but I wanted to know where this lovely musical interlude was coming from.

AAnd then we saw it.  A maroon Mark something-or-other conversion van, converted into an ice cream truck, including a roughly sawed open hole in the side with wood framing it up real nice.

I felt like running.

I mean, I guess it could have just been an entrepreneur trying to make a buck in tough times, but my vote is on creepy guy trying to steal kids or something.  Yikes.

 

Cats love baking.

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Cats love baking.

Cats love baking.

My friend told me I should draw a cartoon of her cat as a baker.  I asked her why and she said that he likes to make biscuits.  Hahha.  Ok, I can’t really remember if that’s why she said specifically because that’s the only phrase that goes through my head when talking about cats doing the kneading thing ever since my college freshman roommate called it that.  I’ve been in love with the phrase since that day.

Makin’ biscuits.  Oh yeah.

Meet Sabrina: The true definition of “scaredy cat”

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Ah!  I didn't see you walking up to me even though you were in the open and I had nothing obstructing my view.

Ah! I didn't see you walking up to me even though you were in the open and I had nothing obstructing my view.

This is Sabrina.  She is my mom’s cat.  My mom got Sabrina when I found her (Sabrina, not my mom) in the park eating snacks from the day camp I was helping at (although that would be funny to imagine my mom doing this).  I brought her home and pretty much made my mom keep her, haha.  Sorry mom.

Sabrina is very very scared of pretty much everything…which is why I made her look so wide-eyed because she pretty much always is.   Walking within 10 feet of her?  Run away.  Look at her from across the room?  Run away.  Move your arm too fast?  Run away.

The only exception is when we have food….then she turns into a whole other cat.  Forget running and hiding.  Sabrina is all up in your business ready to eat anything made available to her.  But as soon as the food goes away, she returns to a scaredy cat.

I suppose if I want to be friends with her I should just start wearing that Lady Gaga meat dress.

Ok, Ok, I know it’s not a cattoon or even close to a cat but I had to share this.

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Ignore any bad quality - my phone was on picture duty today instead of my camera and this guy was too big to scan.  Actually, I didn't try it so I am making that assumption.

Ignore any bad quality - my phone was on picture duty today instead of my camera and this guy was too big to scan. Actually, I didn't try it so I am making that assumption.

The wonderful art teacher at the school I teach at had an in-house artist for a week who was working with the kids on making batik.  The teacher invited all the rest of us teachers in on the fun and I jumped at the chance.  Knowing me by now, you can tell I wasn’t going to do your run-of-the-mill style batik, and I didn’t.

It was interesting how we  went through the process but I won’t bore you will all the details.  But instead of just dipping the fabric into vats of dye where we would essentially overlay the colors by adding more wax to preserve that layer before dipping it in a new layer, we did wax outlines and then painted the dye on like watercolor.  It was super fun and something to look forward to as the end of the year crazies are kicking in for students and teachers alike.

So here is my jungle batik. I haven’t decided where I will display it but odds are good it might end up in my classroom next to the two fish I made out of recyclable materials.   That or maybe as a flag on my car.  Who knows.

P.S. My art teacher friend showed me a picture of the batik that she made for her son last year.  She ended up turning it into a pillow and it was probably one of the best pillows I’ve ever seen. “Why?” you ask?….Her son’s friend’s roommate’s cat or something ran out of the house one day and they felt bad and obviously wanted to find it.  Well, to make the hunt for the meower easier, they decided to buy bikes.  Not like used bikes but hundreds-of-dollars bikes.  Yeah.  Dedication right there.  Anyway, my friend decided to make a batik of a cat riding a bike to give it to her son.  So she did.  Awesome.  I’ll see if I can get a copy of the picture and post it up here for all to enjoy.

So my cats are bullies.

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I've raised monsters...

I've raised monsters...

Yes, you’ve heard it here.  I’d rather keep this one in the closet but for the sake of full disclosure here on notacrazycatlady, I must confess.

first, a little background:  Our cats are now moved in back in Cleveland with Adam while I am finishing up school here in NC.   Adam’s parents have a 19-year old cat who was a sassy thing in his day but who’s a little slower and probably blind and deaf now.

So in our efforts to acclimate them to each other, we’ve found out that our cats are bullies.  Specifically Smudge.  He’s been pretty awful and Duncan is his sometimes-backup.  This is how Smudge will corner poor old Schotze and Duncan will zoom around for back up from the other side.

I am an embarrassed cat mom.

Digital Duncan: Martial Arts

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He's only a white belt, but watch out!

He's only a white belt, but watch out!

1. I realize his uniform is fastened backwards…so sue me.  I was going for mirror image? (This is for all my Columbus friends who might harass me about this….P.S. guys – bonus points for this location!)

2. This should be the last of the Digital Duncan set of pictures.  Love ’em or hate ’em, we’re going back to the drawings.

Digital Duncan: Crossing Guard

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He is very professional and the perspective in this one is really weird and messed up, haha.

He is very professional and the perspective in this one is really weird and messed up, haha.

Just forget that there is no background or horizon or anything and look at the cute little kitten crossing the road.

Digital Duncan: Football

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He told me he was going to share all the money he was going make.  But I'd have to be his personal assistant.

He told me he was going to share all the money he was going make. But I'd have to be his personal assistant.

I don’t even really care about football (gasp!) but I thought Duncan might need to lose a little weight by playing sports.

Digital Duncan: Willy Wonka

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He kind of looks like a pimp, but I swear it's supposed to be Willy Wonka.

He kind of looks like a pimp, but I swear it's supposed to be Willy Wonka.

Personal secret: I LOVE Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory/Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.  I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it before or not, but here it is again/for the first time.  I totally love both the old one and new one; I know many people have strong emotions about the remake but I think they’re different enough that I love them both.  Duncan here is Mr. Willy Wonka himself (quick: who says this and in which movie?) and is making my dreams come true.

Digital Duncan: Professor

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Ah, I see what you surmise from this calculation.

Ah, I see what you surmise from this calculation.

Here is Duncan if he was a professor.  He would look distinguished and probably wear argyle vests and spectacles.  Yes, I said spectacles; not glasses.  He would teach a class about food or cat yoga or something.

Digital Duncan: Magician

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ta-da!

ta-da!

Here is Duncan if he was a magician.  He pulled out that bird from Smudge’s mouth.  I guess it wasn’t really a magic trick rather than a rescue effort.

Side note: My mom said she feels bad for Duncan that he posed for one picture and this is what he gets out of it.  Hahha, it’s like a funny paparazzi picture that has turned into an internet meme…can I call it a meme if I’m the only one repeating it?  Eh, whatever.  I’ll call it a meme if I want to call it a meme.

Digital Duncan: Apple picking

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Mmmm, thanks, Duncan!

Mmmm, thanks, Duncan!

So I took a funny picture of Duncan and when I was bored one day I decided to paint on top of it using my phone.  Thus, Duncan, the apple picker.

Then I kept going….so this may continue for a few days….or a lot of days.

The definition of bromance and overall ridiculousness

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It's like being with a couple of 8th graders when they get together.

It's like being with a couple of 8th graders when they get together.

So I was hanging out with some friends this weekend and they asked to be draw as cattoons.  This is what they get.  We’ll call them Justin and Kris.

So Justin and Kris have been buddies since forever and they get kind of ridiculous…ok, seriously ridiculous, inappropriate, and offensive when they get together.  But anyway, they are both pretty crazy on their own.

For instance….

Justin paid an artist (aaaaand we’re not talking $50 bucks here) to paint his likeness in gladiator attire, standing over a conquered and killed white tiger.  Yes.  I shit you not.  It is at least 3 feet tall and hangs over his fireplace.  His partner (we’ll just call her Mora) is a saint and puts up with all his shenanigans.

In fact, we decided that Mora should be the subject of her own mural or painting in which she is depicted as a mermaid holding the world, while posed on a water-locked rock amidst splashing sea spray.  Pretty dramatic.  I actually drew her a sketch of what it should look like.  She taped it up on the wall, haha.

The portrait is seriously just the tip of the iceberg, including….

– more than expensive trips to Vegas

– a trip to Jamaica where they were looking to get massages, which ended up being an….um…..not massage parlor, if you catch my drift.  They tried to leave but were blocked by the nice gentleman in charge of the ladies.

– passing out after drinking and Justin inevitably spooning Kris…like I said.  Bromance.

With a little blood, sweat, and tears, he did it!

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I promise I won't notice the extra chair next to the climber

I promise I won't notice the extra chair next to the climber

Adam’s mom got the kitties a little kitty palace.  I haven’t seen them in action with it, but Adam sent me a picture of Smudge making it to the top.  Success!  There should be some sort of heavy-beat laden background music playing.

Imagine never brushing your dog ever again…that’s this dog.

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This is seriously one scrappy dog.

This is seriously one scrappy dog.

My one best friend Emily (you may remember her baby almost eaten by a chihuahua) has a brother who has a dog.  When I went over to say hi to her parents, John and his dog Teagan were there.  Now I’m obviously not a dog person but they can be ok sometimes.  However, I don’t really like when they’re up in my business.

When Teagan came to say hi I’ll admit I had an eh-get-away-from-me-moment because she was all up in my business and looked so scruffy.  When I declared this, John shared that he got her because he wanted a scrappy looking dog.  I think he won.

Anyway, this is the true story of a guy coming up to John asking him about the scrappiest dog he’d ever seen.  I don’t know if the other guy had a mustache or not but I like to imagine him like that.