So it’s testing season in schools these days and all that makes me think about is how BOOOOORING it is. I have to administer the tests and pretty much just sit there and stare at the kids for 3 hours a day or so. This goes on for 3 days. Blegh. But it is my duty and I must convince them to do their best, etc., etc. all the while trying not to drool on myself. Good luck kiddos! I’ll do my best to do my part properly if you do yours 🙂
I will let you interpret this angry cat drawing as you will, but it is not likely that it will be reappearing (just in case it was too scary for you). Just a scary cat moment. 🙂 Rawr.
So I forget what sparked this but Adam had read some funny thing about old guys working out at the gym in street clothes/awkward outfits who do a millions reps with a million pounds. True story.
So since I’ve been on a mega workout kick, I will honor this and all the other old guys who do a million reps with a million pounds.
This weekend 2 years ago, Adam and I got engaged. He surprised me with a visit to Cleveland when I was in town and we walked to my favorite park, which, if you recall is the same one I loved to bury fish in. It was all sweet and lovely and everything, but it was nearly spoiled when a certain someone, and I’m not gonna name names here, freaked out upon encountering a bee. And it wasn’t me.
But anyway, we got married and junk and so I did say yes when he asked me, if you were wondering.
Adam is a really good critter getter. Not only that but he is humane with it, too. What a keeper.
Once we had a huge wasp hanging out by a window. No way was this guy getting out the door – just too dumb and uncoordinated to make it to the open door 3 feet away. So what does Adam do? He devises this great plan where he squirted water on the wasp to decrease flight capacity and then popped it on a broom and put it outside for the wasp to dry out in the sun and go about its merry way.
Smudge is really kind of excitable. I won’t get into all the details, because he might get embarrassed (Adam, I think you know what I’m talking about) but I will share this.
I read once that someone created the question mark based on curious cats and their tails. While I really can’t verify the veracity of this statement, I never understood it until Smudge.
Smudge always has a question mark tail when he’s excited or interested about something. Literally, any number of things. I could be in the bathroom and here comes little question mark tail guy. There could be a new bag on the ground and guess who’s gonna stop by?
At least he’s easily amused and not a priss-pot. Although, Smudge is a bit of a diva, I’ll admit.
I have another best friend who lives in the magical land of Florida. Her name is Maryland. Sorry…Marilyn. (Sometimes people call her that…really?!)
Sometimes people also call her Merlin…like her boyfriend Atul. I love that he calls her that.
Well, anyway my friend Marilyn/Merlin can be silly (she is my friend after all! Fun story – we met in 2nd grade when she moved here. I remember talking to her when she first moved from Kansas. I think my teacher sent me to go bug Mar since I was…how you say…chatty. Anyway, that began a long love affair including soccer and band and whatnot.). So this picture is based on a photo of her perched in the bushes with a caption from Atul calling her Merlin.
So she’s a wizard. Like Merlin. Get it?
know, I know….I’m so funny.
As I think I mentioned before, Adam and I will be moving back to beautiful Cleveland (cough, cough). Adam is actually already there with the cats while I have moved in with my madre for the two months I have until my job ends.
When we were getting the apartment ready to pack up and whatnot, Duncan started getting reeaaaaally weird. Like he knew what was coming. And he should, because he is now living in his eighth home since I’ve gotten him 7 years ago. Poor guy.
So I drew him like the vagrant he is…and I guess that I am. Bah. I think it might be nice to stick around in one place for a bit. But, I suppose that means we could also collect much more junk, which I am working at avoiding at the moment.
Anywho, Duncan and Smudge are getting adjusted to their new home, while making a new cat friend. More on that later.
Cat Cat can fluff up at least twice his size upon being startled by the tiniest insignificant sound! Usually he will also sprint around aimlessly fueled by his hair pouf!
That is all.
I love fruit.
It completes my dining experience. I really could eat it aaaaaaaaaaall the time if it was available to me. Yes, I would be making more frequent trips to the restroom but I would be happy.
Recently I bought a bag of those cutie clementines and THEY. WERE. UNEQUIVOCALLY. THE. BEST. I’VE. EVER. EATEN. Yes, I used caps because they were that good.
They were sweet with a bit of tangy-ness. They had the perfect texture; not too hard and not to dried out pulpy. But the combination of flavor and texture made these the best orange eating experiences of my life. No lie.
Ahh, just thinking about those little suckers puts a smile on my face. In my kitchen now? Kiwis, more oranges, a few grapefruits, peaches, a cantelope, and watermelon (which is the LOVE of my fruit life). I went on a bit of fruit buying binge this week.
Oh fruit….you complete me.
When the weather started getting really hot last summer, Adam and I had a brilliant idea. Let’s give the cats haircuts. Now, I can already hear you saying, “But that’s not what you do for cats.”
You’d be wrong.
Our friend had a cat with long hair who got a “lion cut” in the summer and looked Fab. U. Lous. Naturally, we thought we could do the same thing with poor Duncan and Smudge.
Surprisingly, Duncan actually liked getting the cut, with the clippers giving him a little cat massage.
I learned through this process a few things.
1. Duncan’s fur is WAY more thick that it lets on.
2. You shouldn’t give your cat an at home haircut.
I deleted the pictures off my phone from embarrassment, but damn it was funny. Sorry Duncan for laughing at you but it’s grown back really nicely.
If Smudge could choose a career, he might choose becoming spelunker. Why? Because he likes to burrow in blankets. However, he is an elitist spelunker. He will only burrow in Adam’s blankets. Whenever I lift my covers and attempt to coax him in lovingly, he gets a bit interested and excited, comes about an inch from the blankets, realizes it’s not Adam and goes away. Jerk. I just want a little cat heater under my blankets. Adam gets super hot and doesn’t need you, Smudgey. I guess Smudge just wants to be warm, too. I said it once and I’ll say it again. Jerk.
This scanner weird (I think I impatiently lifted the scanner lid too soon; big surprise, huh?) but I think it looks good since he’s going into a cave. Serendipity!
One of my best friends Emily just had a baby this winter. She’s the first of my close high school friends to have a baby so I’m excited to be “Aunt” Lindsay. Maybe I’ll just let her call me Aunt Notacrazycatlady. Either will do.
In honor of this baby, here is a cartoon.
Little baby Claire came up with Emily when I was visiting Ohio this spring. We stopped by Emily’s awesome parents to say hello and I got to meet their new little dog Jack, who they appropriately and lovingly (?) call simple Jack. I can only assume because he’s dumb.
He also is a bit of a cantankerous little fellow and has issue with Claire. As in, he would like to eat here.
So here is Jack, living out his fantasy while sweet little Claire slumbers on. Let’s hope this is the closest he ever comes to nomming on Claire.
You may also notice the “censored” bar on Jack. Ahem….he might have had a
little big problem that needed reducing and still isn’t quite under control. Gross. At least he’s a little dog. Could be worse.
Sooooooo, this one still stings. If you remember from before, I really liked Siamese cats in middle school and wrote two research papers on them. Much better than about angels and komodo dragons.
In eighth grade (maybe sixth grade….I can’t remember), I went to drop off some overdue library books about Siamese cats that I’d had for a while. If you know me by now, you may have gotten the impression that I’m easily distracted a bit. This crosses over into remembering to take care of business….especially if it is undesirable business like dealing with overdue books.
Eventually my dad and I went to the library to return the books and got the surprise of my entire library patronage. A find of $70. No. lie. Who gets a seventy dollar fine?
They were nice enough to drop it to $20, which we were really relieved about. But then I think about it being like $0.10 a day per book and $20 is still super ridiculous.
I have never had a fine over a dollar since.
This cartoon also depicts my fashionable 13-year-old style of skateboard shoes, floor-length floral skirts, and horse t-shirts. I was pretty awesome and even had a friend who copied my style. We were awesome. But I think the trend setting stopped with us.
Not too long ago, I posted my plan for a cat stroller that I will someday use. About a month ago, Adam and I went camping and it got me thinking. What if the cats could come camping with us!?
This was a brilliant idea.
For hikes we would create some sort of meshed backpack thing so that the cats could come along for the ride. See the sites. Sniff the animals. Perhaps panic and flail about. But they’d be doing it their roots…in nature.
Needless to say, Adam didn’t think this was such a great idea…which is why he looks a little disgruntled in the cattoon.
Side note: We went camping at this lovely park near us, which is only like 20 minutes from our apartment and is additionally like 5 minutes from the airport. We definitely weren’t roughing it but it was our first time camping. We did get sleeping mat things (which, by the way, are not entirely cushy as once might first suspect after testing it out on a carpeted floor….but did keep us up off the cold ground) but our tent was a Walmart tent. Yes, you heard right. Scoff if you must but I’d rather spend only like 30 bucks on a tent and then find out we don’t like camping than go all out at first and have to blow the dust off of it for our garage sale.
Anyway, the tent did reasonably well…especially considering that there were severe thunderstorms that cruised through that night. It made sleeping a bit on the difficult side.
The only problem we had was a tiny puddle from the zipper, which was a heck of a lot less than I was expecting. Plus it didn’t rain until later that night so we got our fair share of toasty marshmallows and burnt hot dogs. Yum!
Camping = success…with or without cats.
Yes, you read correctly! It’s a plot twist! Duncan is currently diabetes-free! No, this wasn’t all a prank. Here…I’ll explain.
So we had to send Duncan to get tested after about 2 weeks of our treatment and changing his food. He had to go overnight at the vet’s so they could monitor him and see where his levels were.
We got to the vet’s office the next day and they told us….his sugar levels were back to normal, even when they took him off the insulin.
Apparently, this Lantus insulin has some rate of about 20% incidence of diabetes going into “remission” so to speak. And guess who fell into that 20%….DUNCAN! There can sometimes be a honeymoon period (just like with people who start insulin) and it might seem like the diabetes has gone away but it comes back. Boo. BUT….that wasn’t the case with Mr. D – or at least it hasn’t been for about a year.
The doctors thought it was just because of this insulin but I’m convinced that the food switch to wet food played a role, too. This actually was the fastest our vet had seen a switch over to no diabetes. Duncan’s a record holder now, too.
Here’s hoping to continued diabetes-free livin’ for Duncan (and us…having to wake up early on weekends was really annoying).
After hearing about Duncan’s diagnosis with cat diabetes, it looked like we were going to have to tackle this thing. I became a mini-expert in diabetes in cats and Adam and I had a whole routine figured out.
We had to feed them pretty much EXACTLY every 12 hours, giving D his shot of Lantus insulin after he ate. We were awesome, in fact. We had a notebook and recorded it all. Like I said, pretty awesome. But it sucked. We had to make sure we were up on time, even on weekends, and couldn’t do anything in the evening unless we could get home to feed los gatos.
Additionally, we had done some research and found that some experts believe dry cat food to be a cause for cat diabetes. You see (science lesson alert!), cats are carnivores. They get some nutrients from plants that are in their prey, but are not designed for out and out eating plants. Most dry food has TONS of carbohydrates in it, because it’s cheap and binds the food, and this is a problem because cats aren’t designed to properly digest it all. It leaves a ton of sugar left in their little bodies. They can’t properly use it and blammo, diabetes. Also, fat cats are more prone. Looks like D had two strikes against him.
So, this lead us to go to a meat diet, specifically Fancy Feast since they have the most meaty, low-carb food that isn’t soooooooper expensive. Don’t get me wrong; it isn’t cheap but it’s manageable. We also had to give shots right after each meal, and each kitty got treats, even Smudge-o…so he wouldn’t feel jealous.
So, because of diabetes, Duncan (AND Smudge) got to eat Fancy Feast for every meal, were fed on a very consistent basis, and got snacks every time Duncan had to get a shot with a needle so small it was almost invisible.
We, on the other hand had to pay for more expensive food, change our life schedule, and pay for very expensive doctor visits pretty frequently.
About 2 weeks after this started and we got in a routine we had a vet appointment for a checkup…..
Yes, it’s true. My little meower was diagnosed with diabetes. Our vet told us when we took him in that it would be something with his kidneys or diabetes, and about $300’s worth of tests later, we found out that D had the ‘beetus.
In case you don’t get the reference, this cattoon is in honor of the cult class commercials by Wilford Brimley about diabetes testing supplies and the various remixes that have followed. He just says the word diabetes funny so people have ended up loving the commercials and have spoofed it over and over again. Count me in! I highly recommend watching a video or two – not a funny disease but HAHAHAHA.
Back to the story. I was upset that D had a lifelong illness but honestly I was more annoyed than anything. Sounds completely selfish and it was. We could tackle the issue and he could be healthy but Adam and I were going to get on a wicked annoying schedule to make sure he got his meds. Makes me sound like a jerk but I’m just being honest, yo.
But wait! There’s more to this story. To be continued…..
We are nearing the climax of this story, where things all will soon change. D began a new bathroom regimen where every morning, or really any time he needed to use the litter box, he wouldn’t use the litter box. He would use the tub.
Sounds gross, and it kind of is gross, but it is 500% better than him peeing on the carpet. Any cat owner know that something is DEFINITELY up when a cat starts peeing anywhere but their little box.
And yes, I have dragged out this intro to Disasterbetes2010, but please don’t think it took that long for us to decide to take him to the vet. It probably was a month or two before all the pieces of the puzzle came together and we knew it was go time. I have grown up with cats and know that urinary tract infections are not all that uncommon. So that’s what I thought he had and why we were taking him to the vet.
Well, we get to the vet and it does turn out that he, in the words of the veterinarian, had a raging urinary tract infection. Poor guy.
We also found out that day……….(continued tomorrow)
After the bad breath and dandruff, we started noticing another trend in Duncan. He was losing weight and looking faaaabulous….minus the bad breath, dandruff, and recent emergence of his ribs.
I was trying to give a few options to describe his weight in this cattoon – if you want to be ironic and somewhat in denial, look at the top names but if you want to be brutal and insulting but more realistic, look at the bottom names.
Yes, it’s true that at some point in Duncan’s life he was weighing in at around 26 pounds, unless my scale was off. More recently he has been cruising around at 17 pounds or so. I know, I know. He really is a big cat (sure he has weight he could do without, but he’s genuinely big boned) but he totally used to get into my roommate’s cat’s food, which was specialty food for her cat’s lack of gaining weight. I also had an automatic feeder and D figured out how to paw it and get food whenever he wanted – smart bastard.
When these problems started rolling in though, the poor dude became more frantic for food and dropped to a slim and sexy 14 pounds….in like a few months. I learned from my vet that they should drop no more than like 1/4 to a 1/2 of a pound a month. Yeesh. this was not appropriate weight loss. Sure he might fit in with the high fashion world but he’s not quite hip enough for that.
This was proving to look like more of a serious problem than just an annoying cat with bad hygiene…..
Gross cat breath. Check. Duncan needs a dentist or just some malt toothpaste.
But what’s this? Dandruff? Now Duncan used to have a little dandruff here and there. Nothing vomit-worthy but definitely there at times.
This time his dandruff was REALLY bad. I even bought this dandruff spray stuff that you spray on his fur and the enzymes are supposed to eat up all the nasty dandruff. Ew. It worked, though. For like a day. Then his dandruff was worse than ever.
I was a little concerned but just grossed out more.
Tomorrow….part three of the saga!
P.S. Duncan wants everyone to know that he isn’t fat…that’s just a flap of skin. Really.
I have found success! This video is a little long for what it is, but it cracks me up. What a nut, that Duncan! So anyway, the inspiration for the cattoon from a few days ago. Duncan and has his strawberries…a cat and his passion.
Last year around this time, I can’t really recall when – that’s what happens when tragedy strikes sometimes, Duncan was getting weird.
This included getting awful cat breath. His breath was so bad that we decided we needed to get him cat toothpaste. And we did. It was “malt flavored,” whatever that’s supposed to mean. Like malt balls or malt liquor? I didn’t taste it (maybe Adam did, I’ll have to ask him) so I can’t really present any valid evidence one way or the other. All I can say is that I don’t think Duncan liked it.
The whole thing came with a little baby toothbrush or a little finger puppet thing that had nubbins on it – your choice. Stick a stick in your cat’s mouth or your finger with a thin plastic-rubber tooth scrubber thing on it. We first tried the finger outfit thing but he bit us. Eh, what were we expecting? Baby toothbrush it was. It took two of us, one to hold and one to scrub, but we successfully malt-brushed his teeth. Even those cute little teeny baby incisors in front. Poor guy can’t eat carrots.
After successfully accomplishing this task once, we went about it daily for a while because we thought, sure this will fix the problem….
Day 2 of the saga begins tomorrow! Stay tuned….
So I was out of town this weekend and thought I wrote a post for today but apparently didn’t. So here it is!
Duncan LOVES strawberries. Whenever I eat them he is always there licking the leftover bits I don’t eat. Weirdo.
This predilection for nomming on strawberries was taken to a new level when I brought some strawberries home from the store one day. They were wrapped with cling wrap and were sitting on the counter in my kitchen and I walk in to see Duncan just obsessively rubbing his head all over these things.
I got video of it but can’t quite figure how to get it from my phone to here…but I’m working on. No, I’m not a computer idiot and yes I’ve tried to send it to my email but the durn thing just isn’t cooperating. When I get it, you’ll be the first to know.
As the title says, I totally never wanted a pony as a present (although I did horseback riding for a pretty long while there). However, I imagined what it would have been like if I did want a pony. And it would have been awesome.
My cousin Kaitlyn was flying to/from college (sorry I might have to make part of this story up since I don’t remember all the details) and told me this story of despair, embarrassment, and stereotyping bumbling dads.
Pretty much the lesson learned here is if you are passing a baby, make sure you know if they other person has got it. Kinda like when you pass a plate or something and you say “I got it.” That would be a good idea with a baby, too.
Sooooooo, I saw a tv show a long time ago when I was growing up where a house had these crazy awesome cat paths around the ceilings with little cutouts for cats to walk through from room to room. A bit excessive? Perhaps. Completely awesome and forever embedded in my brain as something I want to do someday? YES!!
So this is my vision for myself as a crazy cat lady. Because I’m not one yet. Right.
Pretty much I will be living in a cat house. Adam will have to accept it or we’ll have to have a pool house or something for him or whatever. 🙂
And yes, I will wear robes around the house as a crazy cat lady. Oh wait, I already do. Crap.
My cousin Kaitlyn sent me this and I ended up watching several times and was crying from laughing so hard. I am pretty sure it’s a sincere video, albeit ridiculous, that has been edited to be even more ridiculous…and it’s my new favorite thing. If I was Oprah I’d give you all a copy. I suppose I am like Oprah since I am sharing it with you. I just wish I had her paycheck.
When we were home visiting Adam’s family last spring there was a beetle epidemic. Lee, Adam’s brother, was getting irate and flustered with all the beetles and came downstairs to declare his displeasure with the creatures.
This is what it would look like if there really were Beatles in his room instead of beetles, like we all ignorantly assumed…
When I was in middle school, I had a friend who was pretty awesome. She was smart, had a hamster, was creative, liked fairies like I did, and was strange enough to be my friend. We were like two peas in a pod during that short time when we were friends.
Once we even set up a hamster play date at the park by her house. I got my little hammy Daisy all ready to go in his/her (read the previous link and you’ll understand…) carrying case, hooked that over my handle bars, and off I went the mile or so to my friend’s house.
I feel it pretty unnecessary to mention, yet I will, that my bike was lacking in the shock absorbing department so as I carefully navigated over bumps and cracks, my poor hamster may have suffered a concussion.
Regardless, the playdate was a smashing success and I think our hamsters had a great time.
I also feel it pretty unnecessary to mention, yet I will, that this was not the only time I took Daisy for a trip anywhere and I can recall at least 1 or 2 more times where we went to my favorite park. Daisy was not made to bury any fish when we were there, though.
Adam had a dog that was found at the motocross track he was racing at , and this poor pup was all flea-bitten, mangy, and had no fur. His warm-hearted mom decided that they needed to rescue this dude, so they did.
Many vet trips later he was better, but still virtually hairless – but he got some later. Woo!
Adam loved Troy (Troy got sick and died a bit ago) but he told me that he was tied for first place as the best dog in the world. He was a pretty good dog.
I would say that most pets could be tied for first place pets but there are definitely some who tie for last place…but I’m not gonna name any names.
Here’s to good pets!