If you’ve ever lived in an old house, you might know what I’m talking about…but for your sake I wish you didn’t.


I wish I could make this stuff up.
I wish I could make this stuff up.

College.  Scratch that.  College housing.

There’s that’s better.  This is a completely, and unfortunately, true story about Adam’s first off-campus house at OSU.  I’d like to start with a mostly generalized statement that college landlords often times SUCK and take advantage of poor kids who have no idea what they’re paying for or how to get what they need.  On the other hand most college tenants SUCK and they probably deserve to pay high prices and whatnot for the damage they do.

In this story, none of this was related to Adam and his roommates, though I’m sure they weren’t the cleanest/best of tenants they did not bring any of this upon themselves so I’d like to blame the landlord.

Ok, let’s begin… (**note: Don’t wanna read it all?  Look for the tl;dr (too long; didn’t read) at the end!**)

It started on a lovely late summer day in September.  Adam and his roommates pulled up the big U-Haul to beautiful *** East Oakland Ave. (I am going to protect the identity of this house…it did not bring any of this upon itself and deserves a little privacy).  A lovely early century house, the brick popped against the bright green tree in the front yard, the windows sparkled as they sat on the front lawn.  Wait.  What?!  Yeah, that’s right the friggin’ window was in the front yard and there was a slew of workers painting, “fixing” things, etc. on the DAY THEY WERE MOVING IN.

I think that sets up the tone quite nicely of what was to come during their stay at this house.

Adam’s dad was pissed and was not having any of it so he called the landlord who kind of made things happen so that the guys could move in that day.  So eventually we start to move things into the house and they notice a door in the kitchen with a padlock on it.  When they took a tour the first time through, the landlord said it was just storage or not to worry about it or whatever.  So the guys didn’t worry about it.

(Random apartments attached to locked kitchen doors:) As they were moving in and around the house, going from the front and the backyard they noticed that there was a weird addition of the house that they hadn’t been into yet.  Upon further investigation and the noticing of an extra mailbox on the front, it was discovered that the padlocked kitchen door was to….another apartment with an older lady named Rosemary in it!   This is NOT a duplex people.  The landlord just rented them the house without their knowing about their ultra close roommate.  Granted she was nice, never complained when they were too loud or unruly, but that’s just weird.

(Rats and maggots:) Now Rosemary comes into play later in the year, as well.  They would bring her the mail if they got hers by mistake.  Adam was going to drop off her mail and went to her little side access door (not the kitchen door since it was padlocked and all, you know).   What he saw explained a lot of the further problems they had in their house.  She had garbage stacked up ALL over the place.  Garbage bags were literally EVERYWHERE – Adam says from floor to ceiling.  Now, this makes me sad in a “Hoarders” kind of way but, gross…no one should live like that and unfortunately for Adam and his roommates, there were ramifications for their house, too.   They had rats in their basement.  Not just once or twice but every time they went down to the basement.  There was also a fly problem down there which explained  when they got maggots in the kitchen when they had food on the ground (which was nasty of them anyway).

(Attic friends:) Back to moving in…Andrew (Adam’s roommate) got the attic bedroom in this house.  When he was moving in he had placed his hockey stick up against the wall.  When he went downstairs and came back, his hockey stick was placed horizontally on top of a box, balanced near the edge.  He also woke up one morning with his computer mouse on his chest.  Now, the guys liked to play tricks on each other sometimes but these were not those times.

When I was there I used to get a creepy vibe and Adam was always on edge living there, too.  Once Adam was home alone for the weekend since everyone was visiting their families.  His room was the closest to the attic steps.  Well, this weekend when no one else was home he was sitting in his room on his computer working on homework or something (my guess is “or something”) and heard footsteps climbing up the stairs to Andrew’s room.  Now, I know what you are thinking.  It was probably just Rosemary – well it wasn’t so get over it.  Her place didn’t even have two stories anyway and it was on the other side of the house.

Adam also met someone who lived there before and they had similar experiences.  Creeeeepy.

Additionally, the guys also found a squirrel in their attic, which might have made some of the noises they heard perhaps but I don’t think squirrels wear shoes and climb up stairs or balance hockey sticks, so I’m betting on a ghost.

(Rotten floor joists:) In the living room/dining room was a big spot near the wall that was probably the size of a coffee table.  This was the “trampoline” spot because when you stood on it you could bounce.  As fun as that may sound, when they inspected it a floor joist was rotten.  They had called the landlord about this who sent someone to fix it…by hammering a small 2 x 4 to it.  Right.  That makes a lot of sense.

This next part is totally stupid and Adam and his friends were dumb but I think it’s funny and applies to this last problem.  They all had motorcycles and the bright idea to bring them inside one day.  On top of the rotten floor joists.  I wish I had a great story about how the floor broke and motorcycle carnage ensued, but I can’t.  Nothing happened, to my surprise.  It might have been because there were only 2 motorcycles inside, not all 4…so that’s probably it.

Well, anyway, if you stuck in for the long haul and weren’t too grossed out just reading about it, you now know why I hate old houses.  I suppose I generally like old houses, just not ones like this one.

Good old house note: in the next house they lived in they had a scraggle cat (probably a sewer cat) show up in their basement a lot.  It wasn’t too friendly but it was a cat!


tl;dr  Old houses are a lot of times cool, but Adam’s college house was dirty, haunted, broken, and had a lady living in the back of it.



One thought on “If you’ve ever lived in an old house, you might know what I’m talking about…but for your sake I wish you didn’t.

Add yours

  1. Hahaha! I love the “tl;dr” summation!

    I voted for rats and maggots. Although I am pretty sure I’d actually hate ghosts more, I just believe in rats and maggots more than ghosts.


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