A little unorthodox here at notacrazycatlady but I am going to break routine with no cattoon for today. I know, I know. What are you going to for your daily dose of cat? Don’t worry, that will be supplied further on in the post.
As I mentioned a post a couple of days ago, Adam and I were traveling by airline this weekend. If you ride the silver-bellied gas guzzler (that was a joke from a nature hike guide at our local metroparks that I bird-walked with for extra credit for a high school biology class in ninth grade…I even remember that it was suuuuuuuuper early and mostly retirees – sounds like our honeymoon) then you know all about SkyMall catalog and the time-wasting entertainment it provides. This catalog is great for several reasons for me in that it appeals to my impulsive side without allowing me to cave into desires, is structured so that my random brain feels right at home, and is always changing from season to season so there’s always something new to “shop for” even if I’ve skimmed it every flight I’ve ever taken.
Since they advertise on the front that it’s a “Free copy – take it. We’ll replace it!” I did just that. If you haven’t flown lately I figured I would share with you a few of the better items in the catalog that might be
on my birthday wish list something that you can waste your time pleasure reading like I got to this weekend.
First item up…
I’m all about cheeky, silly, bizarre humor, as well all know but this one leaves even me a little befuddled. Firstly, the price tag is a little hefty for the kind of item that I would expect to be in the impulse section at the cash register at your grocery store. Seriously, who is thinking to themselves, “Why yes, my garden does need a little jazzing up. I suppose I could call the landscaper or just pay 90 bucks for a zombie garden ornament.” Based on most of the prices in SkyMall, they cater to a higher clientele, which I can hardly imagine would be seriously interested in dropping that much for something that seriously can’t be a long-term piece in the garden collection. I suppose I shouldn’t judge, but this one gets me every time I see it in the catalog. (Ok, I guess I secretly think it’s cool and maybe want one…but more as a fantasy and not actually at my fictional house. How does that even work? A fantasy wish for a fictional house. That’s even a little too esoteric for me.)
Item number two…
This item would have been a great addition to my post a few days ago. I’m not gonna lie. This one I really like. I can imagine myself using it and it seems phenomenal. Downfall, however: I have a little neck pillow that I need to inflate when I get to the airport and it’s super awkward trying to blow it up. And that’s a small neck pillow – not a rather large miraculous wedge-shaped pillow. I suppose you can get out your mattress air pump to try to fill it efficiently or just carry it around with you throughout the airport already to capacity. Which of those three would be your best bet? I can’t tell, which is why I haven’t bought one of these yet.
In this ad, I’ve added a few of my own annotation marks – namely the three red circles at the top. Here was our thought process as Adam and I interpreted this item. 1. Note the strange logo at the top – what in the world is with the “g” and the “d?” Those are weird and look like….sperm. 2. Note the logo on the shoe – what the heck is with the stupid sperm thing? Is that just a bad attempt at designing a logo? Were they trying for the next Nike swoosh? Weird… 3. Note the circled feature info – “Slick seed of life logo?!?” So this really is a sperm. Seriously?! OMG. “Because its cool?!?!” What is wrong with these people? (*cue perfectionist judgmentasaurus*) Ugh – they even used the wrong “its.”
I really don’t know what else to say except I don’t want any sperm on my shoes and this is just weird.
Finally, number 4 – a product dedicated to cats and their owners…
Who doesn’t love a product with cutesy alternative phonetic spelling? That aside, I have wanted to do this with a cat since before Meet the Parents. It all just seemed like too big of a dream to realize but now it seems as if I have an award-winning product that can make my dreams come true. Perhaps it is the idea of championing one of nature’s more independent thinkers through the means of a cool trick that gets me excited about this or maybe it’s because I’m lazy and would love to not have to clean another litter box again. Either way, I think this is pretty hilarious but worth it. I might just have to visit their website.
P.S. In case you were wondering, this season’s SkyMall also included two hidden cat litter boxes if this product doesn’t interest you.